As I’m sure you know, I am a man of many talents. When I get in my car to go driving, I hardly ever careen off the road and collide with other objects. Walking down the street, my feet show an unusual amount of coordination by traveling in a predetermined path and avoiding one another.
Hell, most days my pants stay safely secured well above my ankles. Well past ten in the morning.
Which is why I have such difficulty comprehending why advertisers, specifically those who are in charge of packaging and direct mail, are so insistent upon treating me like a moron. Don’t get me wrong; I fully understand that in order to communicate with the largest number of people, prevailing theories insist that everything be dumbed down the minimum possible level.
The problem with that line of thinking is that it presupposes everyone is as dumb as humanly possible while attempting to maintain the functions controlled by the medulla oblongata. As a matter of simple statistics, at least half of everyone is smarter than the average bear. While I imagine not all of that half are terribly offended by ridiculously stupid advertising, I would be willing to wager some of them are. Considering that wealthy, intelligent consumers are more prized than regular consumers (not to mention that intelligence correlates with wealth, at least in part), it’s truly a wonder.
I offer two pieces of evidence I’ve encountered since … this morning. The first:
At first, I assumed it was a letter from my best bud (with an exceptionally poorly Photoshopped picture on his front page), E-Flo. But then I noticed it was from Progressive, my former car insurer. Exhilaration overwhelmed when I saw the personal note Flo had jotted down for me on the envelope, and I tore it open to find out what he/she had to tell me.
Alas, I do, in fact, have an IQ higher than the average third grader, and can distinguish between text that’s been printed and a handwritten note. Flo’s hilariously quaint smiley-face “o” notwithstanding, I was skeptical that Progressive had the time or the manpower to attach personal notes to the top of every envelope. The intention is ostensibly to show that Progressive is giving it that “personal touch,” a logical extension of the age-old practice of batch-processing letters and changing only the names. Except it’s especially insulting to pretend that horrible script font is someone’s actual handwriting. And, y’know, no one in the history of the world has ever used the phrase “World Wide Wow.”
Also, the phrase makes no damn sense to begin with. But I digress. Because there’s also this:
That’s right, it fights odor in three dimensions – I presume they haven’t yet perfected the peculiarities of time travel, which is the only explanation as to why I’m not getting fresh scents in four or more dimensions. Building upon the utter marketing genius of “new and improved” or the use of “bestselling” with the need for any qualifications, we’re building on the idea that we can sell something while hoping people are too stupid to actually realize what they’re buying. You can also see examples of this when CRTs were sold as “flat panels” because the front was flat, when everyone was actually looking for LCDs.
I realize it may seem strange to bring up a dumbing-down strategy that actually worked, but it actually proves my point. The marketing strategy behind that relies on people not knowing enough to make the appropriate decision. Anyone who knows what the hell they were doing would laugh it away.
Anymore, advertisements have essentially transformed into entertainment … Or maybe it’s the opposite. At any rate, it’s difficult to differentiate between the two. Though I have in the past calmly discussed and dissented with the idea the current generation is shedding brain cells by the second, it’s far more difficult to argue against the notion that our culture as a whole is on the decline. I don’t have the empirical data to prove it, but I would challenge anyone to examine the anecdotal evidence (book bestseller lists, popular television genres, etc.) and argue that our society isn’t experiencing intellectual decay.
But it’s not because we’re stupid. It’s because we’re lazy. We no longer expect people to have to think things through anymore. Or rather, we as a populace have accepted (indeed, embraced) the idea that someone else will do our thinking for us (damn you, spell check!). Instead of seeking out pertinent information or challenging our opinions, we are far too content to sit back and listen to people we agree with regurgitate what we already think. Then, armed with the proof that our initial assertions were correct, we continue to parrot the same tired ideas without ever really examining them.
What’s all this got to do with advertising? Simple: It softened us up. By allowing advertising to become so influential, consuming so many dollars and setting the tone for the rest of mass communications, it opened the door to intellectual laziness. I’m not saying we should rely on advertisers to clean up after their mess, or even that it’s feasible to expect Americans to wake up one day and decide en masse to only support those companies that respect their intelligence.
It would be a refreshing change, though. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my Farmville cows need tending.